Is ignorance really blilss??

Hmmmmm...over the weekend, someone slapped me with this thought...got me thinking about it..
Is ignorance really bliss?? Honest truth?..I think it is...and I am sure not convicing myself about it...this about all the situations

1) Been going out with a man for 18 months...now 18 months for Darshini is LONG!!...so the story...boy meets girl, boy and girl like each other, start the relatioship on friendship basis for a little while and venture into the lust and stayed on there for a long time...only to find out at the 18th month that the girl was not the only girl....is ignorance here really bliss?? then it was so paintful...but the pain doesn't stay for long...it's all long gone now and we have moved out and on...when I see him now, it never crosses my mind, not sure of his though...

2) Divorce of my parents...this one, ignorance is certainly bliss....till this very moment, after 6 years since they were legally divorced, I do not want to know the cause of it all....because, naturally you end up hating someone, blaming someone and hurting someone...life is so blissful now, and I wouldn't want to mess that up

3) I just think when you know too much, you draw conclusions in your head....boy meets girl, girl finds boy rather interesting, gril falls for boy, only to find out boy like someone else...now that someone will always be in girl's mind, day and night...but if girl never knew that in the first place, she would have been happier..not so clinggy to boy, given boy all that space ...see, ignorance would have been bliss

4) Girl had an abortion, girl now meet the perfect boy of her dreams...they are planning to get married...do you think girl should ever tell boy about the past?? Ignorance is bliss....trust me on this one, if boy ever know that fact from girl, he may be all cool and all, but when things turn sour, boy oh boy, he will bring it up....

i honestly think ignorance is bliss...because if i know, i will keep imagining it...but if i didn't and you left hints...i will soon forget all that hints, especially if we are having loads of good times togetehr...this is in every friendship and relationship....you might say, where's the trust then?? but if you know the truth will hurt someone, then why tell...life is too short to be living it so hurtful all the time...do i make sense??

The Middle Man

I am sure there are many times in our life that we end up or even sometimes choose to be the middle men...Being the middle men is certainly not the easiest thing.

When it is friends, I find it real easy to say 'Nop, don't wanna hear about it"or even sometimes turn the deaf ear to bitching and arguments...

But how do you do that with family members...not siblings but parents... Not easy I must stress... I thought once the divorce was all over with, I could promote myself to the first single woman for once...but I guess I was wrong...It's a long story really...Just needed a place to rant and rave and Thank you Leena for listening...

Oh ya, on that note...life is short, DON"T be the middle men..yup, I am darn good in giving advise but it's a shame I cant seem to practice this one..

Meaning of Dreams

You know the feeling - you get up in the morning, laughing and the same time trying to comprehend the dream or sometimes nightmares you had.
Some doesn't make sense at all but we seek to give it meaning...we crack our heads all the way to work trying to figure out the sign of warnings it's trying to narrate to you...

I had one very funny one today...and I’m still trying to figure out what it really means...
But they also say, that you end up dreaming about things that has been bothering you throughout the day...Maybe..

My home has been invaded by two little creature, which I must say, I managed to kill last week (in that battle with this little creature, I bruised my elbow and nearly broke my nose!!) - that last bit, such an exaggeration. Okay..the dream, yup...it's something about me, trying to kill this lizard, but funny part is this lizard could talk and it was attending a job interview (I think these are stress from the Elevator Programme @ the Hilton).... But evil Darshini was all out this kill this creature. Somehow it fell into the bathroom sink and I decided to let the water flow so that it would die in suffocation (God! cruel me... If this is one of the skills needed for a sadist, then I so have it and mastered it)...funnily enough, the lizard started expanding in water...after sometime, when I thought the lizard had died, I turned off the tap. This little bugger got back to his original 2 inch size and ran off...

Yup..that was my weird dream... I still wanted to understand the significance on this lizard in my dreams, and this is what i got from the web...pretty interesting :

Lizard

Enemies will cause you injury, but if in the dream you are killing a lizard means you will have a good reputation and will regain lost fortune.

Hmmmm...shall update you readers if anything like regaining lost fortune every happens this month...

You got to check this out the website....if any of these animals appear in your dream, you'll know what it means...save all time wasted in trying to fix the puzzle

http://petrix.com/dreams/animals.html

Have fun!!!

Women - The walking contradiction!!

Yup....I know the women species are gonna hate me big time on this one....but, please, before you draw any conclusions from the heading (Like, Darsh, I think you might be gay...at all that jazz) read on...and I bet you will agree with me.

1) When a friend comes over to tell us their problem that they have been telling us for the past 6 months, and we are tired of hearing it, we say...."OHHHHH...poor you!" but deep down we are like "really, can't you find someone else...I am sick and tired of this !!"

2) Man don't call, we draw up millions of conclusions, some out of vengeance, some out of compassion and some mere excuses...but when he eventually calls, from vengeance, we become all nice and sweet...from compassion, we become all cold...and from the mere excuses we came up for their actions, we pretend like their silence had no impact on us whatsoever...

3) We are so darn good in giving advises...but we hardly practice them!!

4) We plan to buy something and we get everybody's opinion on it. Don't even know why we bother to ask for opinion, coz when the opinions are negative, we buy it anyway...then we have a book full of reasons for our actions ...like bullets for those who had all the negative opinions.

me got to get back to work...so kindda need to stop here...
men, if you are reading this and having a good laugh, thinking - this is so typical of the women species...then please read again....believe me when I say this, both men and women are the same..really they are..I know this man for sometime now, and I can honestly say, he is very much like a woman...draws up conclusions before reading the whole sms and many more...the list goes on and on..we women probably make use of our thinking caps far more than men...that's probably the only slight difference...But, ladies, the thinking caps need to come off...really..

to be continued...stay tuned!

The Signs of Maturity??

Driving to work today, got me thinking of how things have changed over the years, me, people around me, situation and circumstances!!! Signs of maturity?? I am not sure...but let battle it out

1) when the phone rings..I remember how my sister and I used to run to the phone. It was like a marathon, who gets to it first. Now, we just let it rings and see who gets to it eventually - Signs of Maturity / Signs of "I can't care less"?

2) My phone bills used to be a rising 4 digits...now, it's 2 digits, some days there isn't any calls made!! Signs of Maturity / Signs of lesser friends??

3) Those days when I drive and nearly met with an accident, all those "flowery" words comes out of my mouth, now, I look up at the driver and smile and thank god for the narrow sweet escape - Signs of Maturity / Signs of "I-can-now-afford-my-own-damages??

4) When I'm pissed off, I used to bang the door, rant and rave and make sure the whole world knows my problem..now, I cry in silence, and rant and rave in silence or just smile and say, everything happens for a reason - Signs of Maturity / Signs of insanity??

5) When I have the time at nite, I used to ensure that it was well wasted to wee hours in the morning...now, I love the whole idea about staying at home during the weekends and I sometimes feel real down when Sunday is over and I did too much over the weekends and left no time to myself - Signs of Maturity / Signs of selfishness??

6) I used to love company, so much so in college, I made sure there would be somebody with me when I got to the toilet...now, I await for the time to be by myself - Signs of Maturity / Signs of selfishness??

7) When people used to ridicule me, I used to get really upset...now, I can't be arsed. In fact feel sorry for them to know that I'm their spice in life - Signs of Maturity / Signs of I-couldn't-be-bothered??

8) Matters with regards to men - Those days when things go sour between us, I used to delete them from my memory, phonebook and all their traces will be vanished..Friends after the sour turmoil? dream on!!...Now, things go sour, i just laugh and cry, coz I so called it upon myself - Signs of Maturity / Signs of Stupidity??

9) When things are not right and I need help, I used to run to my parents for help...now, i find help within myself - Signs of Maturity / Signs of huge-ass-ego??

10) Enter a party, I used to make sure everybody knows I'm here...now, I try to sneak from the back, try a silent entrance, but that always fails - Signs of Maturity / Signs of Shyness??

Hmmmmmm.....something to think about.. but rite now...with all this writing and what's going around here at work...it's definitely SIGNS OF INSANITY!!!

Out Cry of a Post Graduate

Last day at college and I probably had the biggest smile. At the thought of just completing 4 years of college life was such a relief. I’ve done it. My degree, for my mum.

Now I’ll just have to join the other world. The working world. The 9-5 job, where everybody looks cool all dressed uo, going to their interesting 9-5 job doing something they all like. Well, it looked like that to me. So I though when college was done and over with, that 9-5 job will land on your lap. I mean, who wouldn’t want you, a fresh graduate with all that theories, definition and textbook intelligence. I couldn’t wait, to share my “knowledge”. But I knew I was going to do it in style. I was going to the UK. Somehow, the land of our once-upon-time-ruler just seems greater. They ruled out country and now, they have rules our minds.

It was easy, I tell you. Going to the UK was not easy. The visa was one, the cash was the other and the fear wrapped it all. Walking into the British High Commission was like visiting a friend in jail with all the tight security. (Not that I’ve experienced visiting anyone in prison, I’ve never been to one, but I’m sure it looks like it does in the movies) I joined a group of 30 odd anxious people waiting to be called in the visa office. As my eyes went wondering around, it got me thinking. What is it about this country (UK) that everybody wants to step foot into. What happened to our own land? Has it turned its back on us? Or are we just plain blind that we cannot see what our very own nation can provide us? Why grow up in one country, live you whole childhood and the suddenly when you have all that your own country has given you, like education and childhood memoirs, we go live out life and make our bread in another land? Well, if everybody just seems to want to go to the UK, there is probably something they can offer that our very own nation can’t. Just got to go and find out ourselves, isn’t it? Maybe that’s what people did and got their 9-5 job tailored made for them.

In I went, and when they called my name (Ms Govindaraju), I took me three calls to realize that they were referring to me. I jumped out of my seat. That was the very first time I was referred to as Ms Govindaraju. He did a good job as white man saying my “mouthful” name. I approached the counter with the hope that I would not be sent home like the other without a positive reply or my passport.

“What do you want to do in the UK?” – asked this gorgeous blue eyed officer. At the thought that I would see more of this in the UK, it got me wandering. Suddenly forgetting how to structure a sentence, I couldn’t think straight. After regaining my conscious – Öh, I want to be able to work and see the country. Not been to that part of the world and I really want to see it”

“So that all you want to do?”- with blue eyes staring deep into me.

“YES”I said, with the confidence at the same time trying not to get hypnotized by thise eyes.

“Where do you want to go in the UK?”- he said as he was running his fingers through the pages in my file.
Okay, a test to my geography knowledge. I just rattled as much of places that I could think of in the UK, places my mum always spoke about when she was in the UK. Along the list, I suddenly mentioned “Adelaide”(OH Shit! What sis I just do?) Looked up at him and said Öh! Ya, that’s in Australia. Right? Ya!”

“How can I believe you?”- What kind of question is that? What am I suppose to say? Say how much I don’t really know what I’m doing here in the first place? Do I tell him the truth? Truth that I’m just doing what my mother wants me to do? Truth – I’m confused! No, I cant…that’s not me. I may be all this inside, but to the world, I’m perfect. I know what I’m doing and it’s always the best. So by hook or crook, I’m going to the UK. Just ignore all these confusion spice and just get the damn visa, I’ll fix the rest later.

I leaned forward, looked at him and said ”because I really really want to go and I know I will be back in 2 years, just like the permit says. So please give me the opportunity”. Thinking about it now, I think I was begging him but not down on my knew. When my name was called again, I hurried to the counter, chanting my mantras in my head. I met this Muslim lady with excellent English accent, “Your permit just got approved, so could you come back tomorrow to pick up your passport?”- Just then she saw the glitter in my eyes, the glow in my face and gave me the you-deserve-it smile. I walked out of the British High Commission with the glow, glitter and the smile like it was a permanent feature on my face. Off I will go to the ruler’s land, job opportunities will be falling onto my lap and there I will have the tailored made 9-5 job just like everybody else. So I thought, as easy as ABC.

It’s funny coming to think of it, how we were brought up. After primary school, it’s secondary then it’s college then university and work. No questions. That’s the life pattern and everybody goes through that. But what is in between all that, nobody tell you. The struggle to get into the next phase in life, nobody warns you. From the outside it looks like a smooth journey and I so badly couldn’t wait to do that journey.

Everything in the UK took me by surprised. Most of all, the journey to find that tailored made 9-5 job, I was flabbergasted. There is not such things as a tailored made job, the job is never tailored made for you, you tailor make yourself for the job. There is never a job suitable for you but you make yourself suitable for the job. And certainly nobody in the working world wants you to share your textbook intelligence, they want you diligence. It’s a dog eat dog world out there. You will just have to shape up or you will find yourself shipped out. And it doesn’t make any difference if you are in another land.

For those with - It's Complicated - in their Friendster status..this one is for you!!

Oprah's View on Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you
can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better."You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knowwhere you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

Ps: Thanks Mama Mel!! We need that knocking in our heads, sometimes...love ya